Letters To Amestris
by AAJ Edward
Summary: Words are more powerful than actions. The pen mightier than the sword. The power of words, spoken or written, is endless. For two alchemists, these words are strong enough to cross even the Gate and into the worlds beyond. RoyEd eventual Yaoi
1. Letter 1

ok, so I decided I was going to try something. This might be relatively short lived, at least I know the entire first part will be updated quickly seeing as it's nothing but letters. The entire second half is the aftermath, but I won't tell you much. I don't want to spoil anything. But this will be eventual RoyEd

Disclaimer: NOT MINE!

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Colonel Bastard,

I suppose I can't really call you that anymore. Let alone General. I wanted to tell you congrats, by the way, about your promotion. Wish I'd been there to give you a few words of encouragement. You know the usual. So I guess I'll just say them now.

This is the perfect job for you! It gives you an actual reason to be in everyone else's business! A great excuse to not have to get a life!

Too bad you can't get a real date even with this new title.

I give it a week before they realize just how useless you are and send you back to your boring life as a Colonel. At least there they can ignore the lack of paperwork getting done.

You're getting old there, Mustang. Sure you'll be able to handle this job?

Look at it this way, if your eysite goes before your mind, you're still as useful to them as a paper weight!

But, what I wanted to tell you the most, was that I'd be there, to help push you to the top. Just like Hughes was...

So much has changed, Roy. They'd be getting ready for the Winter Solstice celebration back in Resembool right about now. In Central they're working your asses off. You still have that mountain of paper work? How much of it was from me? Hope it gave you one hell of a migraine. I needed to leave my mark for you somehow! Enjoy it! Feel honored. Edward Elric, THE Fullmetal Alchemist deemed you important enough to annoy even from the other side of the Gate.

...Is it wrong for me to say I wish I was back home? That I could just find a way back, leave Al with his wife, and come back home? I don't belong here, Roy. Everything's different. They speak the same language and yet I haven't a clue what they're saying. They do everything backwards here... It's like listening to a parent scold a stupid and ignorant child! "Right is left! Left is right!" "Don't touch that!" "You need that to do this!" "Don't say this!" "Don't do that!" It's driving me nuts!

I just want to go home!

But then again, home doesn't exist anymore. I know I told Al this place was our new home... but it doesn't feel like home. And it never has... And back there? I spent most of my time on a train, living from station to station. Mission to mission. Central was the place I always reported to. We burned out mother's house to the ground... and the Rockbells? Friends or not, it's not home. There's too many memories there. Too many nightmare I want to forget. I think the closest I ever got to home was around you and the other officers.

The fuck am I even bothering to write this anyway? Not like you'll ever get it... Still... it's nice to talk to some one familiar... or at least pretend to.

- Edward Elric

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All the first half will be kinda short. Again, it's letters before we get to the second half so please, bear with me. These letters are important.


	2. Letter 2

This one's like... five, maybe six lines longer than the last. Enjoy! and please, constructive feedback is much loved! It is 12:16 am here and I am getting ready to write the third letter. Woot!

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Fullmetal,

Hey shorty. Grown at all since I last saw you? I doubt it. You'll be forever short.

God how I miss your outbursts right now. Things are so... normal. Remember how I used to make comments about you growing up and being normal? Do me a favor? Never change. Normal's boring... Normal... isn't you. Normal is our new Fuhrer. The man's about as dry as a sun dried sponge. He shames the heat damage done by fires. It's terrible. He talks in monotone and drones for hours about his new plans for the economy and the newest academy he wants to open. He talks about this when we have no money. He talks about this when we're on the verge of another war. I honestly prefered Bradly over this twat. At least he had personality. We've taken to fondly calling him the fuckbot. We'll let you figure out why.

Ed... I know you'll never read this, but I need to at least tell some one. And at the moment, you're the safest bet. The new Fuhrer... he's put through some new laws that I don't approve of. In fact they scare me. They scare me like nothing else ever has.

He's singling out gays.

He calls it his cultural purification. Saying that Amestris has been over run by a disease that has no cure except death. It's almost like he's hinting at another version of Ishbal. I'm terrified, Ed. For once, I don't know what to do. So I'm ducking my head and carrying out orders. The last officer that spoke out against him got dishonerable discharge and went missing a week later.

It worries me. He's looking at the personal lives of all soldiers, officers and enlisted alike. If you don't have a date with the opposite sex at least once a week he starts getting suspicious. If you're married, you're safe. Riza and Havoc have easily avoided being investigated except for the quick over view.

They got married last summer. Their daughter's adorable and Riza's got another one on the way. They're happy together. It's... one of the few breaks from this hell that I can find anymore.

Fuck, Ed. We need you here. We need the Alchemist of the People. We need the Fullmetal Alchemist... and you're not here.

Ed, I need to say this before I lose any sense of myself. I'm gay.

You're the only person, other than Hughes, that I've told. All those women? It was a cover up. And my life's about to become a permanent lie. I'm engaged. Her name is Melissa. She's a good girl. Kind, loving, and all around the perfect wife. But I don't love her. I just need to get the Fuhrer's eyes off me. It's a last desperate attempt at survival.

As cheesy as it sound, Fullmetal, I need a hero. I need help. I need some one to save me... and I'm begging for that person to be you... because I know you. And I know you'll do what's right, not what's expected.

But that will never happen. You're gone. And you're not coming back...

Is it wrong for me to say I miss you?

Roy Mustang


	3. Letter 3

Short... I know. These next three are going to be as well. I promise the ones after that will be longer though. I promise! And if they aren't... well... we'll get to that if and when we get to that...

Disclaimer: NOT MINE!

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Mustang,

I'm gonna ignore all the formal shit. I'm not part of the military anymore so I'm not even gonna pretend like I am. Too much effort.

Winter's fully set in here in Germany. It's what they call their country. ….. It looks a lot like Amestris... And it makes me miss home even more. Al loves it here, though. He's married. They have three beautiful children. It's funny really. His wife looks a lot like Winry. But she's so very different. She doesn't brandish a wrench at me everytime I see them. She can cook. And she gives bear hugs like Armstrong used to. Her name's Ada. Their two daughters are twins, Alke and Nadya. Their son is two now. I swear my brother's a softie. I showed up late for the birth because of traffic issues only to find out they'd named the boy Edward. My brother's excuse? "Well you had to be here somehow, didn't you, brother?" I swear he's a smart ass. And he gets worse with every fucking day. Ah well... I love him all the same... sadly.

It's interesting how food here is so different and very much the same all at once. The ingrediants are the same, just different names. Same goes for the dish itself. Like Sausage. Here it's called "wurst". They pronounce it like "vurscht". It's those subtle differences that trip me up, make it obvious I'm not from around there. It gets me odd looks a lot of the time as well as it draws the occasional unwanted attention.

The cops here are stricter too. It's almost like they're expecting to be put on lock down at any moment. Al hasn't really noticed it. He just tells me I'm being paranoid. But I know something's up.

I gotta go. Some one's at the door and it sounds like the mail man... wonder how many bills I have now that I can't pay...

- Edward Elric


	4. Letter 4

Fear the shortness... FEAR IT!

Disclaimer: Do you honestly think I could own something as brilliant as FMA? Really? You do? Well I'm flattered, but flattery gets you no where. I do not own. I wish I did. If I did, Roy would have slammed Ed onto his desk and made rough and dirty love to him within the first few episodes... especially after episode ten and Siren... so obviously, I don't own it...

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Elric,

Alright... I've decided I've lost my mind. Do you have any idea how boring it is to spend five fucking hours shopping for new furniture? It was bad enough when I was on my own and searching for my first house, but with a woman! It's HELL! I swear! She was considering if the furniture would match her complete wardrobe (accessories included)! And if it didn't, she said "no"! We coulda been done four hours ago! Why the fuck! Am I marrying her again? …. oh yeah...

Shut up, I know you're laughing. I can feel it! So you know what? I feel the need to be childish today so: MIDGET! SHRIMP! SHORT STOP! Let me guess! You're so short, even toddler's clothing drowns you! BEAN SPROUT! And my all time favorite, Kid!

Now this is usually where I would stick my tongue out at you, but seeing as you aren't here to see it, I shall draw a picture of myself sticking my tongue out at you.

((inster picture of stick person here because fanfic won't let me use picytures...))

… I'm going to pretend I never did that and just go. Have fun~! …. shorty...

- Mustang


	5. Letter 5

Sorry for the atrocious spelling mistakes... it's 1:01 am here... I should be doing papers for classes but my brain won't focus. Too tired and I feel like shit. Likely going to call in sick tomorrow and sleep and get work done...

Disclaimer: No. Don't even begin to think I own this. I'll get sued and then I'll sue you...

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Roy,

Fuck it. Forget last names. I'm calling you by your first name. You'd likely strangle me or barbecue me, but it's worth it if it means my sanity.

Anyway... things are... shaky at best. Germany's on the brink of an economical collapse and it's creating tension that's starting to make everyone paranoid. I can't walk down the streets without having to look over my shoulder constantly. I'm honestly creeped out by the talk going on.

There are different religions here. A lot like Ishbal, Xing, and the people of Lior. Here, there are two major religions opposing: Christianity and Judaism. Ad at the moment, Christianity seems to be in charge.

I'm scared there's going to be another Ishbal here, Roy. Violence has already broken out. The German Fuhrer has passed a law that all Jewish citizens have to wear a yellow star.

((again, insert Ed's lovely artwork due to fanfic's issue with descriptive illustrations...))

It's called the "Star of David". I don't know the story, but it has religious value to them. It's been hard to learn about their beliefs. The people of Germany are guarded with many locks and too many keys, with only one unlocking them all. Then again, Al and I came here at the beginning of a war. But there's still so much to learn! And yet I can't. Everything's been limited now.

There are rumors. Rumors that the Fuhrer is trying to weed out Roma as well as Gays. They call it their "Ethnic Cleansing". A new "Aryan Nation". That's what they're calling themselves.

Things are about to get ugly. The Heughs on this side of the gate, he's so different from the kind man back in Amestris. Sure, he has the same face, voice, even habits, but it's not our Heughs. This man's a monster.

He gunned down a little girl this morning because she'd stolen some bread. The girl was Roma... her two year old brother watched the whole thing. Fuck! She was just trying to feed her brother! That's all! She didn't even take much bread! Just barely enough to feed a small child! And the shop keeper just laughed!

… I took the boy in. Their parents were dead from what Gracia told me. His name's Benoni. It means "Son of my Sorrows". It's oddly fitting in a morbid sort of way. He's gotten used to me. He was nervous at first, but when he noticed my eye color he came right over to me. I don't know why, but he acts like he's met me before.

I miss the familiar, Roy. I miss Amestris and the peace it brought. I miss Riza. I miss Havoc. I miss Feury. I miss Falman and Breda. And I miss you. Fuck, I miss you. I miss your short jokes, your smug smirk, the way your eyes narrow at me when I insult your age. Life's boring without being able to argue with you. I finally found someone that needs me to take care of them. After Al got married, he's been off doing his own thing and raising a family. I've got Benoni now, but I don't know what to do. I've never been a dad. I was always just the older brother, and the immature one at that. It's just me raising him. I don't have a wide, let alone a girl friend. Not even a girl that's a friend. And I haven't a clue how to do this. I'm scared I'll mess up. And I'm scared society will continue down the path it's on. They would kill Benoni if given the chance.

I could really use some advice right now. Even if it was a simple "He's a kid, Ed. They eat, sleep, and shit. How hard can it be?" But it's more than that. A child needs to learn. He needs to be taught how to learn as well as how to respect the beautiful differences around him. He should know, that despite looking different, he's like everyone else. That he gets the same opportunities. No one is better than he is and he isn't better than others. But I don't know how to do that... I don't even know where to start...

I could really use a nudge in the right direction, Roy... I could use your help...

-Ed


	6. Letter 6

There... four updates in one day. I'm going to bed now to be a zombie tomorrow... Gute Nacht...

Disclaimer: I'm starting to sound like a damned broken record...

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Fullmetal,

I suppose I should just start calling you Edward. You'd kill me if you ever found out, but I honestly don't care. If it meant something familiar, it's more than welcome.

The touch of a woman is so very different from that of a man. Her skin's too soft, her touches too gentle. Her lips are too full. Her chest is even too soft. They aren't the same solid, smooth planes of muscle I prefer. Women are too soft. For anyone else, this would be perfect. But I hate it.

Melissa and I were married earlier this week. We just got back from our honeymoon. Already, she's talking about kids. She's so happy, Ed. And I'm not. She hasn't a clue the lie she's living with. She doesn't know that each night we go to bed, she's laying with someone that would rather screw her brother. But no, I smile and nod, bearing it and hiding my secret away.

But she wants kids. I want kids just as badly, but I don't want her children. I have another man in mind. Another face I vizualize when we "make love". And she's completely clueless to the truth.

I can see the advantages to having kids. It solidifies my cover It also gives me something to do in my free time. It forces me to keep my mind off of... him.

I wish you were here, Ed. I need to talk to someone who would listen and not judge. Normally this is what I would talk to Heughs about. But ever since his death, you've been the closest to a friend I've got. I know it never seemed like it, but I always considered you as such. I don't know why, but I know you'd listen. I know you'd understand somehow. And I know I could breakdown in front of you and you'd still be there to remind of why life is the way it is.

I need a best friend right now. Nothing's changed from the last time I wrote. I'm still terrified the Fuhrer will find out somehow. What scares me the most is people are starting to agree with him. Even Winry.

I went to Resembool on whim, finding any job I could use as an excuse to get out of the office. I'd just wanted to check on Winry and Pinako for you. It's something I've been doing every year now, since you and Al left. I even visit your mother's grave with an arrangement of wildflowers. The kind you told me your mother had always loved.

When I showed up, Pinako was her usual self, busying herself with anything and everything. She'd even had a meal ready. You were right, Ed. She is an amazing cook.

She got her usual digs in about the military. I'd taken the chance to ask their opinion on the new laws concerning homosexuality. Pinako hated the laws. Winry loved them. She's very ready to back the Fuhrer all the way, even if it means death.

Damn, Melissa's coming. I've gotta go. I'll write later.

-Roy


End file.
